Amber Tears: A Cinema Performance and Lamentation
âThe speakers of dead teach practices of remembering and mourning that enlist extinct humans and no humans critters in the ongoing work of cutting the shackles of Double Death, which strangled a vast proportion of ways of living and dying.â â Donna Haraway
On August 8th 2024, Amber Tears, my cinematic performance in collaboration with pianist and sound artist Filippos Raskovic, premiered during the closing event of ĹŞmÄdÄ Off-Grid Camp at SODAS 2123, Vilnius. This piece is a lamentationâan act of mourning that responds to the ongoing war, genocide, and ecological devastation we face in our time. Through poetic moving images and live piano, Amber Tears becomes a vessel of grief, an expression of collective sorrow, and a call to remember and honour the lives lost in the devastation of human and environmental conflict.
Water is at the heart of this work. As a medium of grief, it holds the memory of tears, flowing between the living and the dead. In the performance, water mirrors the stars, the night sky, and the cyclical nature of birth, death, and rebirth. The Cosmic Egg, a symbol of origin and life, weaves through this narrative, evoking a profound cosmic grief for the loss of life, innocence, and balanceâechoing the cycles of creation and destruction.
The Baltic Sea, where I developed much of my research, plays a vital role in the performance. It not only bears witness to the history of amberâits “tears”âbut also to the genocide of ecosystems. Over 96% of the Baltic Sea is afflicted by dead zones, deprived of oxygen due to human-driven pollution. These barren expanses, now lifeless, cry out as a reflection of the destruction happening both in nature and in human livesâa mirror of the atrocities unfolding around us.
Through Filippos Raskovicâs live piano composition, the music resonates with the grief and longing for healing, intertwining with my moving images. The film captures the flow of water behind man-made barriers, symbolic of the fragile constructs that separate us from the natural cycles of life and death. As the mist rises at dawn, the spirits of the departed return, mingling with the newborn in a timeless cycle of remembrance and renewal.
This performance also draws inspiration from ancient Lithuanian krikĹĄtaia, wooden grave markers that assist the dead in rising during resurrection. I have incorporated elements of these markers into the performance, crafting ritual instruments and sculptures from local wood. The film, invoking Stella Marisâthe Star of the Seaâcalls upon the spirits of both sea and sky to guide and protect us, connecting us to the cosmic forces that govern the cycle of life.
As we confront the global crises of war, domination, and environmental destruction, this performance is a reflection of our need to dismantle the structures of power that perpetuate death and violence. It speaks not only to human suffering but also to the landâthe soil, the mud that opens its eyes to the truth, the pain, and the possibility of hope. May we see these structures dissolve as the light of a new season illuminates the sea, bringing forth a message of healing, peace, and care for all life, all bodies, and all waters.
Amber Tears is a continuation of my broader research project, Water Holds the Shell of the Skin, a Cluster of Cells, which investigates water as a medium of memory, healing, and spiritual communication. In March 2024, I deepened this research during a residency at Nida Art Colony, where I worked with the waters of the Baltic Sea and the Curonian Lagoon. These bodies of water, rich in history and symbolism, whispered stories of borderlands, war, birth, death, and love, offering a space for deep listening, mourning, and transformation.
As part of this ongoing research, I also offered individual water incubation sessions, using water as a space for healing, grief, and body-mind alignment. These sessions focused on gentle touch, movement, and sound, held within the warm embrace of waterâa ritual that reflects the central themes of my work: the interconnectedness of life, the fragility of existence, and the powerful, healing force of water to carry us through cycles of loss and renewal.
My research project âWater Holds the Skin of the Cells, a Cluster of Cellsâ , is supported by @nordiskkulturfond under the Globus Program .